Help your teen decide what to do
after high school
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Helping to prepare your teen for life after high school is one of the most important tasks you'll have as a parent. Although it can be difficult to imagine your baby as an adult, with the right approach, helping your teen make the transition into adulthood can also be rewarding. Going to
college, getting a job, or taking time off are the common choices your teen
will likely face. Here's how you can help your adult-to-be make the decision
that's right for him or her.
College or
Technical School
Although you may
remember starting your own college search in the fall of your senior year, many
teens these days need to get started earlier because of the extensive research
involved and the deadlines for early admissions programs to more competitive
programs. In fact, many students begin as early as the fall of their junior
year.
A good
preparation for your teen is to sit down and start writing - this is great
practice for the application process. Teens should list their goals as well as
their accomplishments, even if they haven't yet decided on a field of study.
Ask your teen to write down a list of:
Academic and
personal strengths and weaknesses
Extracurricular
activities
Awards
Grade point
average (GPA)
Class rank
SAT, ACT, or AP
scores
Next, your teen
needs to think about and list the qualities he or she is looking for in a
college. Does your child want to go away to school, stay close to home, or take
online courses, for example?
Armed with the
preliminary information your teen has gathered, it's time to begin the
research. Guidebooks, the Internet, and counselors at school are particularly
helpful resources. As your child chooses potential schools, you and your teen
should start to make campus visits, during which time he or she can talk with
students attending the college.
Experts suggest
narrowing the choices to a diverse mix of about six to 10 schools where the
odds range from low to high of your teen gaining admission. Applications should
be filled out completely and neatly, including the essay, which your teen
should revise until confident that it's his or her best work. Many schools
offer help in these areas. There are also individuals you can hire if your
child's school doesn't have the resources to help.
And don't cross
college off the list because you're afraid the tuition will be too steep. There
are many ways to receive financial help. You can ask the following about
scholarships and other programs that may help:
The school
counselor
The colleges'
financial-aid offices
Your employer;
ask about any programs that they may offer
Federal aid
programs are also available.
Job Options
If college isn't
an option or your teen needs extra time to earn money for tuition, going
directly to the work force offers many choices and benefits, such as health
insurance and tuition reimbursement programs.
Entering the
military can be an excellent choice for a teen who feels uncertain about his or
her future. Discipline, earning money, saving for college, learning a trade -
all of this is often possible in the armed forces. Veterans are also entitled
to many benefits both while in the service and after.
However, your
teen should carefully explore all the pros and cons of a military career. After
all, if teens don't like the service or if the thought of going to war seems
too scary, they can't easily drop out. If your teen wants specific training
through the military, make sure the contract he or she signs specifies that.
Getting a job
immediately after high school remains a good choice. If this is the route your
teen wishes to take, he or she needs to learn how to search for employment,
write a resume, and develop interviewing skills.
Many companies
reimburse their employees for continuing education in areas related to their
employment. Your teen should ask about this benefit through the human resources
departments of potential employers.
Another option
is an internship. Over the course of a year, your teen could potentially
participate in two or three internships to explore career choices. But most
internships are unpaid, so planning ahead is crucial if your teen needs to save
money for living expenses.
Internships
provide participants with the opportunity to learn about many facets of a
particular career. They're also a great way to make contacts and develop
mentoring relationships.
Taking Time Off
For some teens,
taking a year off between high school and the "real world" can be beneficial.
This can be a good time to travel, do community service, or even live in a
foreign country before the responsibilities of life make it harder to do so.
Community
service organizations offer a wide variety of choices a teen can match with his
or her skills and interests. Americorps, for example, offers hundreds of
programs across the United States with a small stipend, plus a chance to obtain
money for college or vocational training. Many religious organizations provide
community service programs as well.
However, your
teen should keep in mind that the brochure may look different than reality,
such as in the case of work and service camps in developing countries. Your
child should expect difficulties but know that the rewards of community service
often outweigh the hardships incurred - and can actually change the direction
of his or her life. Speaking with previous participants in a program should
give a more realistic view than any promotional material.
And taking time
off doesn't necessarily put your teen at a disadvantage for college admission.
For many teens - especially those who choose an internship or international
service - it can actually be an advantage. If your teen is researching
colleges, he or she should find out if they have delayed admissions programs.
If there's no delayed admissions program, talk to the colleges to find out
their attitude toward students who take time off and your teen's chances of
getting in if he or she reapplies.
It's Your Teen's
Life
When the subject
concerns the future, some teens may try to shrug it off. Here are some tips to
get the ball rolling and keep communication flowing:
Really listen to
your teen and resist the temptation to provide unsolicited advice. If your teen
is struggling to make a decision, a story or two about how hard it was for you
or someone you know could go a long way in reassuring your teen that he or she
isn't the only one.
Provide your
teen with respect and support while giving up some of your control. You've
spent so much of your teen's life being the one in control; it may seem hard to
let go. But trying to direct your teen's future probably will not benefit him
or her in the long run. This is the time for your child to develop
decision-making and problem-solving skills.
Prepare your
teen to take care of him or her away from home. This includes making major
decisions regarding dating, drugs, alcohol, and sex, as well as day-to-day
living skills - cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, writing checks,
and managing a budget are all important and necessary.
Don't be afraid
to set limits on how much you can financially support your teen if he or she
decides to take time off. It's important for teens to learn independence.
Where to Get
Help
The Internet is
a good starting point for researching information on your teen's interests.
Also enlist the help of school counselors. These professionals can help steer
your child in the right direction or refer him or her to other good sources of
information.
And don't
overlook your local library. In addition to books and magazine articles on
subjects of interest, the librarian can be a wealth of information. There are
many associations, both local and national, for thousands of occupations. Find
out where they're located and get information on the appropriate steps to take
in pursuing particular career paths.
Your teen may
also be able to attend meetings or arrange to interview people at their
workplaces to find out more about what they do. Make use of friends, relatives,
or others you know in different industries. After all, there's often nothing
more flattering than having someone ask about what you do.
Finally, resist
the temptation to lecture and try to remain supportive and enthusiastic, even
if your teen frequently changes his or her mind. Your child needs your positive
influence during this transitional time.
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